A certain kind of British guy

Looking at my mailing list I have probably 2 people who might be able to relate to this one, this is for you two.

When you’re inside a country and a culture you start to notice all of the small things, the details that make people different and unique and interesting. So when you’re outside of a culture it stands to reason that you loose that familiarity. Visiting London for these few days, has shocked me. In the Netherlands, I saw individuals and very few stereotypes. Yes, most people are tall, and yes most people speak English with a subtle international accent. But that’s it, otherwise, I only see individuals.

Coming back to the UK, wandering through London, sitting on the tube, in a cafe, and people watching, its easy to see there are certain types of ‘Brit’. I should say, the one I have noticed most are the middle class white guys. I notice these because I am one of them, and so recognise patterns and idiosyncrasies that I myself have.

I look at photos of myself recently and I recognise my ‘hobbit’ build. Yes it fluctuates between a little podgy while I travel and don’t have a routine, and ‘fit but likes beer and cake’ when I regularly make it to the weightlifting gym, but the middle line is: little legs, relatively long broad torso, big head, rosy cheeks, and a polite demeanour.

You don’t get a lot of those in Amsterdam, in London they’re as common as bad weather. I spotted three as a I stepped out of ‘nothing to declare’ in the airport. We’re talking big thick coats (check), pastel coloured shirts or sweaters (check), inexplicably wearing trousers rather than jeans (check), and lots of ‘umms’ and ‘oh yes no problems’ when talking to the airport staff (partly check, I’m getting better at not doing the umms and ahhs).

Then on the tube we’re talking slouched forward shoulders, unintentionally closing off from people (check), scarfs despite the stifling air on the subway (check), and quick glances at anything out of the ordinary going on with absolutely no inclination to do anything about it, wether its a flash mob or murder, just observing (check).

And finally when you get to coffee shops or restaurants or retail stores we’re talking button up jackets, probably cord or tweed (nope, but I honestly considered buying one before noticing this), if they’re older we’re talking reading glasses (not yet but we’ll see what happens next time I got to the optician), a little scraggly but ‘good enough’ beard (check), and we’re talking ‘umms’ and ‘ahhhs’ and pleases and thank yous and nervous polite rubbing hands together while buying anything (not me but was me in the past). It’s quite humbling.

This isn’t the nature of ‘my kind’, the white middle class British guy, I know plenty of people who fit those criteria who are not like what I describe at all, but it’s our nurture. In school I was exposed to a British male stereotype and seem to have accidentally started to emulate it.

You know the one I mean, a bookish, motley dressed person who looks like they shop at a store called ‘Ted Mosby’ who is as polite as they can be without any real etiquette training, probably doesn’t talk about his feelings, and would swoon if you got him a smoking pipe for Christmas.

It’s a little distressing how easy it was to put that description together.

When you visit home? Or at least your home country, do you ever see yourself in strangers? Are you a part of a type? Please tell me you are 😅

- Rhys