An Inner Monologue
This is just thought, from brain to page, I wouldn't read it, really it's just word vomit.
‘There’s so much to do. What should I do?’
‘Well, there’s so much to choose from, pick one, and do it.’
‘That’s easy for you to say, you just make the decisions.’
‘What’s so hard? Pick something to do and do it?’
‘Well, I could start a new project.’
‘There you go.’
‘But what project?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, I could write a new article (like this one) but then I’d have to decide what that’s about, if it’s a long-form or short-form kind of thing, do my research, write it, edit it and do as much promotion as I feel like it warrants.’
‘Right, that does sound like a lot considering you’re just looking for something to do before dinner.’
‘Or, down a similar-ish vein, I could start on that novel I’ve been thinking about. I have a lot of ideas written down in my notes, I could start exploring that, maybe do some free-writing and see what comes up? That could be fun? Although it could take a lot of time and just adds another thing to my “In progress” list.’
‘Hmmm, don’t do that one then, what else have you got?’
‘Speaking of that list actually, there’s that novel that I did start and have gotten halfway through that I could keep working on. But I would really want to get into a trench with that or I’m not doing it justice, all the other times I’ve worked on that I’ve given it a few hours at a time, I don’t want to do that now. Plus I’ve reached an impasse, I know the story I want to tell and the plot but there’s more to a good novel than just those things, that’s going to be a think tank.’
‘Is that the correct use of that phrase? I’m not sure it is?’
‘Okay let’s move away from writing then, I could keep working on my website (rhys-the-davies.com) there’s a lot I could add to that. There’s some content I’ve been wanting to add, an update I’ve wanted to give it?’
‘Oh, yea?’
‘But that’s pretty boring basic stuff, I’ve also wanted to add some more interesting stuff, analytics, a proper blog section, properly linked with Medium rather than what it is now, and I’ve wanted to work out how to rig it so I can update it from my phone. I know that can be done but I don’t know exactly how to do it. Or rig it to link to all of my various profiles properly in fact.’
‘Right. But that’s a lot more work?’
‘But that’s a chunk of time, not for now. I could read? I could read my book? Work toward that new GoodReads challenge that I’m going to try and stick to this time despite the website being just atrocious. Although that’s not very productive, maybe I could read around Medium, or on the news, I’d certainly feel better about reading those, they seem more productive, but I don’t think I’d really enjoy that right now.’
‘Okay, so not that, well move away from that, keep going?’
‘Or I could go around the interwebs and look for new things, new and interesting conversations or forums or things to get involved in. If I don’t know what to do immediately like right now, have I even found what I should be doing? Maybe I should be hunting through Reddit for conversations, or forums or Product Hunt or … Woof, no, that’s a rabbit hole.’
‘Wait, are you listening to me?’
‘I could start a new tech project. I’ve been meaning to write that app, there’s a lot of ideas in those notes for that too. I have those Raspberry Pis lying around too, maybe a Pi project? Oooooo, or a learning project, I have that money to spend on some courses, maybe I could learn some AI or some ethical hacking? Though, I haven’t actually been outside today yet. Have I? No. I don’t think so, so maybe I should do that. But that’s very unproductive for everything except for your health. But my health is fine, I’m young, I’ve done a lot of walking over Christmas and when the gyms open back up I’ll be going back there, I should be using this time to be more productive.’
‘So you’re now talking to yourself, and ignoring yourself?’
Voice #1: ‘I could listen to a podcast at the same time? Or bring a book/articles with me to read while I’m out, maybe find a bench to sit down on etc? Or just keep walking, or running maybe, and listen to some interviews for inspiration? Maybe there’s something new on YouTube?’
Voice#2: ‘Are you asking me?’
Voice #1.1: ‘Well it’s cold and dark outside now, I don’t think that’s a good idea, you might as well just do that inside where it’s warm and you can control the light. If you’re going outside you can use that to go to the shop and get something quick for food while you do the other stuff you’re going to decide to do.’
Voice #1: ‘Hmmm, you’re right. Okay, so what else is there. Work is back tomorrow, I’ve already picked through emails, there’s prep I could do, get a head start on the tasks that need doing.
Voice #1.1: ‘Yes, but that’s probably not good for you. You’re on holiday, you’ve had a really nice holiday, fully re-charging those batteries, good job btw, so hold onto that, go back full steam, tomorrow.’
Voice #2: ‘Okay, I’m going to think about dinner in the back, you two let me know what you come up with.’
Voice #1: ‘I could just cave and watch some T.V/Netflix? The flatmates are watching some sports game, I know the rules and stuff, maybe that would be good?’
Voice #1.1: ‘Well how is that different to reading your book? Except that you don’t like that sports game?’
Voice #1: ‘Well I’d be being social with my flatmates …’
Voice #1.1: ‘Good point. I can’t say that’s a bad thing, but maybe you should do something more productive, especially after everything you just said.’
‘Voice #2: ‘I’m sorry, I have to come back. Look. Both of you listen. There’s not even that much time left in the day and you still have to shower, make dinner, eat dinner and call your family, it’s Sunday remember. So while all of this is good thinking, and it does need to be done, lets set aside some planning time tomorrow, after work, to do this thinking. You can make a proper plan and not just talk to yourself. Layout all the ideas, rank them, weight them and prioritise them. How does that sound?’
Voice #1 & Voice #1.1: ‘That works. But what about right now?’
Voice #2: ‘Set dinner cooking, make dinner or order food, go for a walk, come back watch half an hour with the flatmates, call your family and then with whatever time you have left, read your book.’
Voice #1: ‘What do I do while dinners cooking though? Something productive?’
Voice #2: ‘Oh for goodness sake, why don’t you just write this conversation out and publish that?’
Voice #1: …