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Recently, I moved back to Wales to house-sit for my parents while they go to a wedding in Australia for a few weeks. I signed up for it thinking I would be in Amsterdam by now and so would be coming back from my fun, exciting life over there. Instead, that was all delayed, and I'm coming from moving around a lot, and a ‘living out of a suitcase’ type of phase. Not ideal. What I want to talk about is that I've noticed I'm running out of things that make me laugh. And now that I’ve noticed, I’d like to do something about it. Previously I didn’t, and I’ve spiraled.

A different life

The problem is, I think, that it’s a massive gear shift. The life I’m leading, what I do, how I do it, and when I do it, is completely different.

On one hand, I know I’m incredibly lucky. I have things that make me feel good; my work is very fulfilling, I hit a flow state writing these newsletters, and I have a couple of good shows and games that I'm watching/playing for when I just need to switch off. But I don’t have anything that makes me laugh, that makes me feel contentment.

When I’ve been in this situation before, when I’ve come back to my parents house like this, I sink. My mental health takes a hit, and I just feel bad. I reckon this is the main reason. I’m away from my girlfriend, my friends, and a lot of freedom. Three things that bring me a lot of joy. Without it I spiral and become someone who doesn’t laugh. I get withdrawn, I talk less, and I start to feel worse with each day.

So what?

Now, I signed up for this. I knew full well what I was getting myself into. But this time, I decided it would be different. I’m going to attack it. I don’t like feeling this way and so before I get to that point, I’m going to set up some stuff. That’s why I’m writing it here. If I write it it’s real.

First and foremost I’m going to prioritise what makes me feel good. I’m going to continue to write these newsletters and chat with people about them. I’m going continue to watch my favorite shows when I want to switch off. But this is just one thing more than usual, so I’m going to assume that it’s not enough. On top of this, I’m going to:

• Make myself laugh. Whenever I take the dog for a walk I’m going to create some instagram stories of his silly self and my silly self enjoying ourselves.
• Schedule time with friends and take advantage of all of this experience I’ve accumulated on the world wide web. I’m going to call and talk to friends and play games online.
• Prioritise my physical health. Previously not having access to a gym and not being a big fan of running as meant I haven’t done much exercise. This time, I’m going to order some exercise equipment, and schedule time at least 3 times a week to get it done. Because it’s true, exercise is good for your mental health. I don’t like that it is, I would prefer to just sit on my ass some more some times. But, I also have been enjoying Weightlifting recently and want to keep it up.

Conclusion

I’ve put myself in a situation where I don’t have anything obvious that’s going to make me laugh, that’s going to make me feel joy. So I’m going to do something about it. I’m going to prioritise what makes me happy, I’m going to make myself laugh, I’m going to schedule time for virtual friends, and I’m going to look after my physical health. Let’s see how it goes. Let me know if you have anything else you do that helps.

More than anything, I hope this helps someone else out there who sometimes feels this way. You’re not alone and there’s stuff you can do. I’ll report back in a month or so if I remember and report how it went😊

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