Dear whoever
Dear whoever
On why we use the word ‘dear’ in letters and why I think it’s quite lovely.
I subscribe to this newsletter called ‘Letters of note’, where a fella named Shaun Usher collects and talks about interesting letters from history. There’s a lot more than you think and the emails are quite lovely. I don’t read all of them but I mark them unread and read through all at once now and again.
Most are letters to other people; friends, loved ones, presidents, pen-pals, all sorts, and many are also quite old, they’re like little glimpses into people’s lives throughout history. What struck me today though was how they more or less all start with ‘Dear’.
A very quick search doesn’t tell me much about why we say ‘dear’ at the beginning of letters other than it was probably originally to show respect to the people you were writing to. If you can find the etymology or source of the practice do let me know.
We use it much less these days, one because we don’t write a lot of letters as a society (which is perhaps a shame) and because it’s not quite the same in electronic form. I can’t remember the last time I started an email with ‘Dear’ (though I’m sure I did a long time ago).
The other place you see ‘Dear’ in the modern world is in cards, like Christmas cards. I wrote very few this year which is a pity, but when I did I started with ‘Dear’ someone. It felt quite nice. Which gets me to thinking, why is it nice to write ‘Dear’ by hand rather than to type it?
I think it’s because it’s quite a personal thing to do, to write a letter, and so bringing a small amount of formality seems right. It means you’ve thought about it a little more, it means you’re addressing the person in an intentional way. It means you’re being intentional.
Which is why you don’t see it in electronic form, those things are no work at all (unless you’re in customer success), you throw them together and hit send. ‘Hi Nick, hope this finds you well, blah blah blah’. Imagine someone started an email, ‘Dear Nick …’. I don’t know about you but first I’d think is ‘well, my name’s not Nick, but oh, what do they have to say’.
Because it creates intention it’s a good way to start writing. If you’re writing a journal entry or an article or a short story, never mind a letter, starting with ‘Dear whoever’ creates intention, it gives you a focus, and at least for me it means I can write a little easier.
When you’ve finished reading this open a new tab and go to ‘docs.new’ in your browser. Write ‘Dear whoever’ (but change whoever to the name of someone you know) and write to them. See what your subconscious has to say?
Anyway, the letters from that newsletter are very good, it’s a strange way to start an email, but a good way to start a journal entry. Happy Christmas Eve eve.
- Rhys